Absolutely Nothing Whatsoever of Interest

January 18th, 2010

It’s that time of year again: to get shit together. One of my specialties (where’s the sarcasm font?).

My goals involve fixing my website to look better and to maybe consider blogging more often about … well, anything, so long as it’s actually an entertaining read (and, you know … occasionally informative of something or other). All ass kissing aside, these are goals and I suppose they involve actually learning enough self discipline to stop watching whatever craps on Hulu and actually be *gasp* productive every now and again.

This all sounds a little self … contrite, maybe? But I can’t help thinking I need to kick my own ass a little more to actually get shit together. Let’s see (for the umpteenth time) if that actually happens.

The Impartial Observer

November 10th, 2009

I’d like to apologize to Thomas Nagel, because I’m about to horribly misinterpret his words to discuss something only tangentially related to the point of the article I’m citing.
It makes me sound smarter if I cite a philosophy article instead of just rambling.

In theoretical reasoning objectivity is advanced when we form a new conception of reality that includes ourselves as components. This involves an alteration or at least an extension of our beliefs. In the sphere of values or practical reasoning, the problem is different. As in the theoretical case, we must take up a new, comprehensive viewpoint after stepping back and including our former perspective in what is to be understood. But here the new viewpoint will be not a new set of beliefs, but a new or extended set of values.
- Thomas Nagel, The View From Nowhere

Summary for people who like reading understandable things:
When making judgments about what’s “right” in the real world (as opposed to the theoretical if-there-were-only-two-people-and-one-of-them-is-a-masochist world) we can’t simply toss out our personal set of beliefs. We can step back, try and be all inclusive, but at the end of the day we’re going to be viewing the same set of facts we were before. We’re just pretending to ignore the values we normally hold.

Journalists are asked to do this every day. Journalists have to be impartial in approaching a story. Personally I’ve learned to remove myself from making judgments on any current state of affairs; always play the devil’s advocate if it seems too difficult to hold in a personal opinion. When pushed, I can defend pro-life, pro-choice, and pro-wrestling. I’ve gotten good at it and I like feeling that my opinions are maleable - I’m always willing to accept a better idea if it’s presented to me appropriately (at least, that’s what I tell myself).

Not my best shot, but it gets the point across.

Not my best shot, but it gets the point across.

After the September 24th walkout I found myself a little frustrated. Not that I could or could not openly support the walkout, but because so many of the people I work with were willing to flagrantly disregard the impartiality which is expected of a journalist. Even if it seems completely reasonable, a journalist has to remove themselves from the equation and try and understand the situation from all perspectives.

Now, if I left it at that (me=right, others=wrong) that’d be a little hypocritical. But when I tried to get the other opinion (that of the “opinionated journalist”) the conversation was generally … well:

Me: You know that it’s not exactly ethical for a journalist to take a stand on this issue, right?
Opinionated Journalist: Yeah, someone else already told me that.
Me: I mean, you can have an opinion if you want, just don’t wear the giant t-shirts decrying your support. Or carry big signs. Or burning effigies. That kinda thing.
Opinionated Journalist: I don’t really care. I support this issue. I don’t care if people know it.
Me: Oh.
Opinionated Journalist:
Me:

I’ve thought about it before. I’ve thought about it since. And I’m thinking about it again, with the November 18th strike coming up (which, oddly, seems to be related to the Remington Rand strike, though I don’t understand how).

The future of journalism is up in the air (no shit). Bloggers are openly opinionated, and that’s now a major source of information for segments of the population. Fox News and MSNBC aren’t exactly “fair and balanced” (though if you ask anyone of a strong political persuasion, they’ll usually say that their side is perfectly legit). Frankly, maybe we’re reaching a point where journalists take sides on issues. As long as they’re informed and willing to consider both views (see: NOT Fox News or MSNBC), I can think of worse things in the world (see: Fox News or MSNBC).

But that still seems wrong to me. So I’m proposing (to myself and the random spam-bot that still checks this blog) a middle ground: if a journalist wants to be opinionated, go ahead. Take a stand for what you truly believe is right. Hell, go out, protest, get involved, burn effigies and all that jazz. Hunter would be proud. But for fuck’s sake, don’t cover what you take a stand on. You don’t get to have your cake and eat it, too. As soon as you decide to take a side, you’re no longer impartial. You can still tell yourself that you have the “right” idea, and I hope for your sake that you do. But there’s enough blatant bias in the media. Don’t fuck up my job because you can’t seem to unbunch your panties.

I have opinions. I am not objective. But I don’t think there’s a “right” or “wrong” and I’m damn well going to do the job of a journalist from as unbiased a position as possible.

Where The Fuck Have I Been

November 3rd, 2009

Sub-title: Where The Fuck Did I Go
Sub-sub-title: Why The Fuck Do I Feel Like Updating Right Now

I feel like things have happened in the past few months. Not particularly interesting on the face of it, but certain amounts of *gasp* maturity … or at least a false perception of it. I seem to recall summarizing it pretty well a few months back in an email:

Excerpt from email to Gill
I got back into the swing of things and, though I’m still unable to get myself to start writing a paper more than 12 hours before it’s due, I kind of have a feel for what this whole “school” thing is again. Not sleeping enough, spending a lot of time procrastinating, then getting lost in thought over a pitcher of some shitty overpriced beer and ruminating over metaphysics (yes, I’m taking a metaphysics class) for the next few hours.

I’m taking a full load of philosophy courses, which means I have a consistent onslaught of reading I don’t do and thinking about shit waaaay too hard that I can’t seem to help and then I find myself needing to write 5 pages in the next 8 hours and haven’t chosen a topic to write on yet.

Then there’s the photo stuff, which I actually enjoy doing. But the news in Berkeley … well, it’s certainly not the same as Cape Town. When you can go to a several-thousand person rally and actually expect there to be no violence (and then be proven right) … that’s just boring. I mean, it’s cool. But it’s boring.

So what am I doing now (see: procrastinating from now) that makes me feel like updating this thing for the first time in I-don’t-want-to-count-that-many months? I was looking at fellowship applications. Specifically the Dorothea Lange fellowship. Which has in info session in half an hour. Which I want to go to. Which is kind of pointless, seeing as I’m a lowly undergrad who can’t apply for it. Which is bull, but what the fuck am I supposed too do about it.

It’s not that I need the money (though it would be nice). It’s that I want the motivation again. An excuse to constantly shove my nose into nitty-gritty-shitty situations and take pictures.

Morning in the park

Morning in the park

I was working in People’s Park, but that kinda slowed up what with schedules and some drama and some bullshit. I’d like to jumpstart that. I’d like to jumpstart anything really.

Making through the regular grind is easy enough. Being a student … well, it turns out it’s actually pretty fucking easy when you don’t work 40+ hours a week. I will pass my classes. I will graduate. I will get my shit together and find a way to take pictures. I will finally update my portfolio (oops … fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck).

It’s just a pain in the ass doing the in between.

So my reason for updating (is that what I was getting at?): maybe if I can update this more often I’ll find myself more motivated. Though I doubt it. But fuck it … it’s better procrastination than watching old episodes of SG-1 on Hulu. It won’t always be photos. It won’t always be my work … but at least it’ll be somewhere to organize thoughts. Isn’t that what this whole internet thing is supposed to be about? Self-indulgence?

Zim

Zim

I’d like to get back to doing what I do well.

Returned

July 13th, 2009

It’s been almost two months since I last updated. I’ve been back in the States for over a week. I haven’t even mentioned Zim. If the purpose of this blog is to chronicle … well, anything it’s a bit of a bust.

All that being said, here’s to seeing if I can remember to update again occasionally. If I care to. Who knows.

Anyway, a summation of my time in SA, by the numbers:

  • Photos taken: over 10,000 (I’m not going to actually count).

  • Photos published: fucked if I know.
  • Front pages: 9
  • “Photos of the Week”: 1
  • Visits to refugee camps: 2
  • Protests: 5 or 6 or something
  • Riots: 1
  • Fires: 4 good ones
  • Major storms: 2
  • Countries visited (including SA): 3
  • Cell phones: 8 (seriously … )
  • Wallets: 3
  • Toga parties: 1
  • Litres of alcohol consumed: Don’t ask.
  • Months: 6
  • Experiences: Too many.

    Chances I’ll be back: 100% (unless I get shot before then).

    So … ’til next time.

May 12th, 2009

I’ve been watching too much Seinfeld. It’s kind of a grim reminder how little life has a plotline. In a good way, though.

So, let’s see … what’s happened in the [fucking long time] since my last post?

  • New president (Zuma, what a shock):
    This photo of someone sleeping while waiting for election results won me Photo of the Week at work.  Which is pretty cool.

    This photo of someone sleeping while waiting for election results won me Photo of the Week at work. Which is pretty cool.

    Can’t say that I necessarily support a lot of the horrible politicking of the election season, nor can I say I’m a horribly big fan of how the Zuma trial went, but … well, it’s been over 24-hours and he hasn’t completely obliterated the country. So: so far so good

  • Finally covered a decent protest-gone-bad: Some might call it a riot. I’m not so sure. I mean, yes, it devolved into stun grenades and rubber bullets and rocks being chucked at the police, but only for about 3 - 5 minutes. I really think SASCO and the CPUT students have more in them (and I hope so, ’cause I came back with shit photos) …
    My best photo of the violence ... WHY DID I HAVE TO HAVE A 12-24 ON MY CAMERA?

    My best photo of the violence ... WHY DID I HAVE TO HAVE A 12-24 ON MY CAMERA?

    smr_1341

  • Finally went to Blue Waters: Refugee camp that was actually shut down several months ago, but people won’t leave because they’re afraid of the horrific violence they’ve already experienced. It’s been about a year now since the xenophobic attacks. So, in a nutshell: horribly depressing situation, incredibly photogenic. Ah, horrible, suffocating poverty.

    smr_1453

  • Life outside work: I’ve been readmitted to Cal, though I haven’t gotten my appointment to sign up for classes yet. I’ve also been elected to the Staff Rep position at the Daily Cal (very competitive: I was running against myself). So … I guess I’ll have something resembling that other life I’ve been living once I get back.

Work is treating me well. Ian (boss) keeps asking me about extending my visa. Oh, if only he had asked a month or two ago. As it is, I’m starting to look into freelancing opportunities back in the states (and by “starting to look” I mean “have considered the idea of starting to look”).

Actually, most of this happened in the past week or two. I don’t know if it’s just been quiet(er) otherwise or it I just don’t remember very far back … oh well.

Desmond Tutu and a cross-dressing political satirist: Highlight of my election night.

Desmond Tutu and a cross-dressing political satirist: Highlight of my election night.

“Good coffee should be dark as the devil, hot as hell, and sweet as a kiss.” - Hungarian saying.Though I think there should be something about “bitter” in that …

Hmm … can’t seem to get photo alignment right on here. Should really brush up on internet-technology-isms and such.

Delaying Egypt

April 10th, 2009

smr_0257

Okay. I suck. I know. Maybe I’ll finally get these posts together in the next few days. Maybe not.

‘Til then: Kathleen is a bit better with these things than I.

4/10

April 10th, 2009

WARNING: EMO RAMBLINGS FOLLOW

When I was diagnosed with cancer I figured the date would stick in my head. It was a Good Friday, amusingly enough …

I don’t think I actually remember the diagnosis date anymore. The date I remember is the first round of chemo. That was today, five years ago. That means I’ll have been in remission for four and a half years tomorrow.

I feel like I should have something deep to say, about what I’ve learned and how I’ve changed. But shit, I started a damn LiveJournal for that. And I can’t even look at that thing anymore, it was so full of whiny little adolescent oh-why-dies-the-world-suck-and-I-can’t-get-a-date-to-prom (which is why I’m not linking to it).

So. Yeah. It’s been five years. Cheers to that, I guess.wristband

Egypt: An Introduction (or) How to Survive Cairo for 7 Days

March 30th, 2009
The view from our window

The view from our window

Friday is the Muslim holy day. A day of rest and prayer and all that kinda crap. Among other things, this means it only takes ten minutes to find a safe break in the traffic by which to cross the road, as opposed to the normal hurl strategy: hurling yourself into the stream of cars and motorbikes and the occasional horse-drawn carriage an praying to your fuzzy lord that none of the drivers are trying to rewire their radios instead of watching the street at exactly that moment.

My way of describing the past week in Egypt: “It was a lot of fun. Never go to Cairo on vacation.” This may sound like a negative view of Cairo -which, generally speaking, it is- but don’t let that give the impression that I’m not glad I went. I am. Glad. Very glad. Hell, I’m strongly considering returning one day. Preferably with a fixer. In a situation where I’m working. Only working. Maybe being paid. Being able to truly embrace all the ways in which this self-hating tourism bastion of a country is collapsing. In short: it makes good pictures, but not a great vacation spot.

This sounds harsh … possibly more so than I actually intend it to (though probably just as harsh as I intend it to). I did, to reiterate, actually enjoy the trip. There were good people, pretty pictures, pleasant locations. But I’m more articulate when I bitch than when I’m talking about how some shit is nice and junk, so … I don’t know. Blame the filter. Blame the medium.

I'm a tourist.  Fuck you, too.

I'm a tourist. Fuck you, too.

Technical detail: I’m going to try and break the trip up into multiple posts. Because I’m lazy, mostly. I may even do something crazy, like link them all back through here. Although that seems somewhat random, seeing as all the posts will be higher than this one … hmm. It’s still tempting. An urge for interconnectedness, perhaps? An attempt at balance and organization? Well, likely more of an egotistical desire to make this thing easily navigatable for when I invariably attract millions of readers as a star of the blogosphere. Make it simpler for all the “n00bz” to skim through the early days where I toiled away as an unappreciated genius, before I was written up in some respectable print publication due to my witty commentary and chronicling of … something.

Okay, time to get to work on posts that actually have content.

[Squiggly line][Cat head][Eye][Squiggly line]

March 21st, 2009

Egyptian for “See ya later.” Or possibly not.

In an hour I’ll be on my way to the airport to go to Egypt for a week. I’ll be doing all the tourist-y things and *shocking* taking pictures. Maybe I’ll remember to post them. Or sell them for millions of dollars. Probably the first one.

One of my editor’s parting words: “Don’t get ripped off.”

I'll see this view in a week.

I'll see this view in a week.

Rock.

Devil’s Peak

March 19th, 2009

Excerpt from an e-mail of explanation sent to Anna after an early morning Gchat in which I’m sure I made no sense:
[...] last night Devil’s Peak basically went up in flames. I was killing time on Facebook, about to go to bed, when one of the other interns knocks on my door and just bursts in. About that moment was when I started to smell smoke. The entire mountain had disappeared: a puff (maybe a plume?) of grey-ish orange, occasionally red smoke just rolling out onto the entire city. So, like anyone who’s lost their mind, we headed out there.

“I spent about 4 hours runing around in the smoke and embers (seriously, blowing embers SUCK). [...] By the time I got home I couldn’t actually focus my eyes, they were so full of ash. My hair was standing on end with soot and the smoke inhalation made me want to vomit. It took me an hour just to import my photos for filing, a mix of exhaustion and near-blindness. The photos I ended up sending in were complete crap (though only mildly worse than most of what I had … none of it was too good, sadly).”

My eyes are still burning (although the eyedrops help) and most of my photos were, in fact, crap. A mix of out-of-focus and just missing the moment and (here’s the odd one) not moving deep enough into the scene. That last one is what bothers me: I always move closer. I have a fairly blatant disregard for my own safety a lot of the time. But something about the smoke and the embers and the exhaustion … I just didn’t have it in me to give 100%. Oh well. There’ll always be more fires.

My favorite photo from the night, and it doesn't tell the story in the slightest.  Le sigh.

My favorite photo from the night, and it doesn't tell the story in the slightest. Le sigh.